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Jack Napier. List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to.
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Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course. Caddie: Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth. Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on! Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir, we left that an hour ago.
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McClure is a DFS legend with over $2 million in career winnings, and he's been RED-HOT on his PGA picks dating back to the PGA Tour restart in June of 2020. McClure uses his proprietary simulation model to analyze the field and crush his golf picks.. McClure nailed plenty of One and Done picks in 2023.
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Fairway to heaven - play on words of Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin. Green and bear it - play on words of 'grin and bear it'. Kiss my putt - play on words of 'kiss my butt'. Swingin' in the rain - related to song Singin' in the Rain. Let's have a par-tee - party time after making par on the course.
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Funny Golf Puns. Here are some of our favorite funny golf puns. Careful, putter fingers. I like to go clubbing… on the golf course. I usually golf in the mid 70's…. Any colder and I just stay home. Everybody trap your hands. Old golfers never die, they just keep putting along. I like big putts and I cannot lie.
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"Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles." "There are three ways to lower your golf score: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating." "Real golfers have two handicaps: one for bragging and one for betting." "Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh."
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Kirk, 38, didn't touch a right-handed golf club for more than two months. Callaway, Kirk's equipment sponsor, set him up with a full left-handed bag, and he immediately got to work.
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No way. Golf, this is it. (input your H.S. name here) Ladies golf…. Where the eagles come easy! (input your H.S. name here) Ladies golf…. It was a pleasure Beating, I mean Meeting you! (Input your H.S. name here) Lady Launchers. Stand back and watch the Big Dog eat! (Input your H.S. name here) Ladies Golf….
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It's called an eraser.". - Arnold Palmer. "Golf: A game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.". - Unknown. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.". - Unknown. "Golf is a game where the ball always seems to roll towards the water.". - Unknown. "I'm not great at the advice.
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For the average player who has limited mobility, Kirk's old-school draw swing is worth emulating. Here's what you can learn from it. 1. Load your trail hip, but stay centered. To hit a draw.
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10. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. 11. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. 12. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players! 13. The difference between a whiff and a practice swing - no one curses after a practice.
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More Golf One-liners. The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. - Ben Hogan. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex -wives.
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Here are some classic one-liners that golfers have been using for years: "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five.". "They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.". "Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.".
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Especially if you struggle to remember the longer jokes. If you like the longer longer jokes, check out our selection of clean golf jokes here, or if you aren't easily offended, our rude golf jokes are here. If you are playing with a golfer who says they never cheat, they're also a liar. ———-. My golf game is a lot like masturbating.
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A: Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". Caddie: "I don't think you'll keep your head down long enough.". I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush, and one under the water.
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Great Golf Puns. All bets par off. May the course be with you (also a golf saying for good luck) The duke of hazards. Fairway to heaven. Caddy issues. This is all fore the best. Hole lot of love. Divot-ted to the game.
